District of WondersTales To TerrifyStarShipSofaFar Fetched Fables

Tales To Terrify No 13 Weston Ochse

April 6, 2012 by Tony C. Smith

Coming Up

Flash Fiction: Then Just A Dream by Larry Santoro 05:40

Fact: Mundt Speaks Thor by Martin Mundt 16:00

Poetry: Dark Rains Here and There by Bruce Boston 39:20

Main Fiction: The Blue Heeler by Weston Ochse 44:25

Narrators: Tycelia Santoro Rajan Khanna

Comments

  1. Best of the season to all and may the angel of death pass over your blood-stained posts and lintels without a blink.

  2. Mr. Mundt: Best. Movie review. Ever.

    More please!

  3. The movie review was worth the price of admission. I am sure it was much more entertaining than the movie. It was laugh out loud, and I spell that out because I don’t say it easily. I sencond the “more please!”

  4. Thanks bald guy and Del, we’ll have more of Marty’s reviews as fast as he can write them, as fast as movies continue to disappoint.

  5. My thanks to Mr. Del amd Mr. thatbaldguy. I appreciate the comments. As Larry said, I am writing more, though in truth, much of the credit must go to Hollywood for the remarkably consistent quality of a great deal of their product. In fact, I think I can say that Hollywood has never failed me for material; only I can fail Hollywood in my attempts to comprehend the movies they make. Thanks again to everyone who found the review entertaining and/or interesting.
    Oh, and by the way, congratulations to Weston and Larry for their stories, and Bruce for his poem, all of which I enjoyed listening to in the dark, alone, in my room. Excellent pieces all.

  6. The most amusing part of Marty’s incredible review of ‘Thor’ IMO was the notion of a hypothetical theme song by a Queen-based supergroup entitled ‘Every Problem Is A Nail’. Spot on, sir. I raise an arm, shake my greasy ringlets, and bellow a whoop to you in approval. I saw the movie, or parts of it, on a ‘plane trip and it exists as a haze in my memory, which was arguably the optimum state for me to enjoy the review. Can we have more please? What about a vivisection of the Green Lantern film? That’s meant to be even worse.

    ‘The Blue Heeler’ was pretty good although the ending with the parents’ confession probably doesn’t stand up to too much scrutiny. I was at a bit of a disadvantage not knowing what a blue-heeler actually was. A breed of dog, yes? I thought the term might’ve referred to the police at first. I think there used to be an Australian police procedural show of that name.

    ‘Dark Rains Here And There’ has been my favourite piece of poetry so far. I imagine it’s a joy to read aloud.

    The best thing about this episode was Larry Santoro’s own piece ‘Then Just A Dream’. Simply extraordinary. I can ill afford adding more items to my ‘wishlist’ but after this episode ‘Slices of Flesh’ and Larry’s own collection are surely on it. (The jacket of ‘A Drink For The Thirst To Come’, I see, is a thing of great beauty.) I love the energy Larry puts into his readings, the theatrical experience really comes through. Controlled passion. Seriously, I think Orson Welles would be proud. I was naturally reminded of Larry’s reading of another of his stories, ‘Little Girl Down The Way’ over at the Starship Sofa. Now that reading casts a strong spell. I consider myself to have a strong stomach but I honestly don’t think I’m ready to listen to it again. Not yet.

  7. Aloha Terror Tribe!

    Martin Mundt – thanks for the wonderfully funny, witty review of Thor.

    I grock you, dude.

    I am 51 years old. When I was a teenager, I thought Rob Halford was the voice of God. As I stated elsewhere, during one special teenaged summer I discovered the double ultra-brain blast of Judas Priest & H. P. Lovecraft. Wow.For a few, long, hot, humid midwestern months my puny mortal world blew apart, and the cosmic fear of Cthulhu was burned into me.

    And, even now, part of me still cannot not hear the inhuman high notes that should not be of Mr. Halford, and not raise my devil horned fists in Heavy Metal dread expectation of the Great Old Ones returning from darkness between the stars.

    Rawk Martin Mundt. RAWK!

  8. Thank you for the kind comments, Mr. Parker. I continue to hold that “Thor” could only have been helped by Mr. Halford, or Judas Priest, or a flamethrower taken to the film, or free LSD handed out to the audience members. But I kid. Don’t do drugs. Just say no. But a flamethrower is okay.

  9. Mr Mundt
    The only way I would ever consider suffering through the boredom that was Thor again is if you did create a alternate read/commentary track.
    Have you ever considered or been contacted by the guys over at RiffTrax for a collaboration?

  10. Dear Echo. Thanks for your kind comments. I appreciate them. I would certainly like to work with the fine, very talented people at RiffTrax, but sadly I do not know them I do not in fact know anybody. I do not actually know this Larry Santoro person who has somehow gotten recordings of me and posted them on this website, though people seem to like them, so I do not complain. If you (or anybody else out there) do know the fine, very talented people at RiffTrax, and would like to make introductions, I would be happy to meet them; if only to get Michael J. Nelson to sign my copy of “Mike Nelson’s Death Rat!”. And may I say in conclusion, thanks for considering my wiseassery up to the level of Rifftrax. It makes having sat through “Thor”, if not “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”, worthwhile.

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